As some of you know, it’s hard being popular. So many people want so much of your time and there’s just not enough to go around. Split between going to all the hottest movies, hanging out, shopping, sports, and (ugh) school, your time is important and deciding who gets the majority of it is just one of those things you have to learn as you grow older. That’s why God gave us outsourcing. Now you can outsource some of those “I-know-this-person-but-not-well-enough-to-use-my-daytime-minutes” friendships to call centers in India in order to keep your busy social life moving at the most efficient pace possible. Our eager technicians are standing by to share some of the burden of your full social life. So go ahead, dump the dead weight with the Outsource your Friendship to India hotline at 267-436-5128.
Here’s what some of our satisfied customers had to say:
“I like Ashleigh a lot, but when she calls she whines for hours about how fat she thinks she is. I decided to outsource our friendship to India and now I have time to spend with my family again!”
“I used the Outsource your Friendship to India line to get my girlfriend to stop bugging me with retarded little details about her day. Now I don’t have to pretend to be interested in Ashleigh’s lip gloss selection because some guy in Bangalore is doing it all for me! Thank God for outsourcing!”
“I was given the outsource number twice in the past two weeks and now Prakash Bhandankar is my new best friend and boyfriend and he’s a whole lot better at both than the other two a-holes that gave me his number.”